Raising positive foodies starts with us…
Can we talk about the elephant at the dinner table? Most of us are trying to raise children with healthy eating habits and a positive relationship with food, whilst untangling our own.
We grew up hearing “finish your plate,” “stop being fussy,” and “no dessert until you’ve eaten your vegetables.” Those messages don’t disappear - they show up at the table, in our reactions, and in the pressure we feel.
Think about it - how often do you find yourself saying those phrases to your own children? Breaking the cycle, and essentially reparenting ourselves, isn’t easy. So don’t feel guilty - we are all part of a generation realising that health around food also includes nurturing a child's relationship with it, and we are all doing the best we can.
We know small shifts can make a big difference, so our resident Children’s Dietitian, Lucy Upton, shares simple language swaps to help take the pressure off mealtimes and encourage your child to trust their body, trust their appetite, enjoy food, and feel safe at the table.
Say this, not this - simple language swaps to take the pressure off mealtimes...
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Instead of saying: “Finish your plate” or “You can only leave the table when your plate is empty.”
Try saying: “You can stop when your tummy feels full.”
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Instead of saying: “You do like it, you tried it yesterday” or “If you don’t try it, you’ll never know.”
Try saying: “It’s OK to still be learning about foods,” or “It’s OK if your body doesn’t want that food today - you don’t have to eat it.”
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Instead of saying: “No pudding until you finish your broccoli.”
Try: Offering dessert alongside the main meal, or providing the second course regardless of what’s eaten from the first (remember, you decide how often and what is offered).
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Instead of saying: “Just one more bite before you leave the table.”
Try saying: Nothing. Children are brilliant at listening to their appetite. Our job is to provide nutritious mealtime and snack opportunities, but ultimately, they can decide what and how much they want to eat.
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Instead of saying: “You probably won’t eat this because you’re fussy.”
Try: Avoid labelling your child as fussy or creating scripts for them. Even the smallest ears pick up on language that they later use to define themselves. You could say, “We’re still learning about these foods. What colour is it - green or red?”
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Instead of saying: “Stop playing with your food.”
Try: Remember that play is exactly how young children learn. Let them explore food - often a stepping stone to actually eating it.
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Instead of saying: “If you don’t eat, you can’t have any TV later.”
Try: Avoid using rewards, punishments, or withheld privileges around food.
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Instead of saying: “That’s a naughty food.”
Try: Call food what it is. Chocolate is chocolate. Cake is cake. It doesn’t need extra rings of “good” or “bad” or any moral attachment.
Let’s put this into practice…
This week, we challenge you to start small - pick one phrase you notice yourself using most often, and try swapping it. Pay attention to how your child responds, and notice how it changes the energy at the table.
Celebrate the little wins. Did your child try a new food? Did they stop when they felt full? Did you resist the urge to correct or pressure them? These moments matter, even if the plate isn’t empty.
Remember, you’re learning alongside your child, unlearning old rules, and making choices that will set them up for a lifetime of positive eating habits.
Love, Team Pots for Tots x
